The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing

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DarkRula
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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by DarkRula » Mon Apr 22, 2024 7:25 pm

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:
DarkRula wrote:As long as it's consistent, I don't think it matters which tense you use.

But that's the problem :slol: I'm mixing past and present!


And that is perfectly fine to do. Past tense can go before present tense, even within the same paragraph, as long as you then don't go back to past tense. Think of it like the passage of time. It always moves forward, never back. So, within a single paragraph, you can go from past to present, or present to future, but never the other way around.

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site23
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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by site23 » Mon Apr 22, 2024 7:58 pm

Oblomov Boblomov wrote:A question on writing in tenses, as I realise I might have been doing this without noticing.

Here is a brief extract:

The sound of the door shutting behind her released a breath that Daria realised she had been holding onto. Straightening herself up and regaining her confident stride, she resolved to focus on getting on with what needed to be done.


Should I be writing 'As she straightened herself up and regained her confident stride...' there, instead of using present verbs? I think I used them to give a more active, fluid style to the writing, but am I risking arrest if the Grammar Police show up?! :shock:


"-ing" doesn't always indicate present tense, it can sometimes indicate a progressive action taking place contemporaneously with the rest of the sentence. "Straightening herself up, she resolved to focus..." is all past tense -- it's not in mixed tense. The technique is called a "participle clause" if you want to search for it and check I'm not talking nonsense.

As for which is better, I think it's really about what reads better to you. I think your second example might be a bit verbose if this is a tense (ha) scene, but try it and see.

When it comes to actually mixing tenses -- it isn't always bad, but it should be logically consistent. If your narrative voice is relaying events that happened in their past, then they shouldn't drift to present tense. But if they're reporting a fact which is still true in their present, it may be appropriate to have them speak in the present tense for a sentence, or whatever. I'm far (very very far!) from being a confident writer, but for what it's worth, it strikes me as the kind of thing you might keep an eye on when editing but not worry about too much when drafting.

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Oblomov Boblomov
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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by Oblomov Boblomov » Mon Apr 22, 2024 9:11 pm

DarkRula wrote:
Oblomov Boblomov wrote:
DarkRula wrote:As long as it's consistent, I don't think it matters which tense you use.

But that's the problem :slol: I'm mixing past and present!


And that is perfectly fine to do. Past tense can go before present tense, even within the same paragraph, as long as you then don't go back to past tense. Think of it like the passage of time. It always moves forward, never back. So, within a single paragraph, you can go from past to present, or present to future, but never the other way around.


That's an interesting rule — one I'd not heard of before!

site23 wrote:
Oblomov Boblomov wrote:A question on writing in tenses, as I realise I might have been doing this without noticing.

Here is a brief extract:

The sound of the door shutting behind her released a breath that Daria realised she had been holding onto. Straightening herself up and regaining her confident stride, she resolved to focus on getting on with what needed to be done.


Should I be writing 'As she straightened herself up and regained her confident stride...' there, instead of using present verbs? I think I used them to give a more active, fluid style to the writing, but am I risking arrest if the Grammar Police show up?! :shock:


"-ing" doesn't always indicate present tense, it can sometimes indicate a progressive action taking place contemporaneously with the rest of the sentence. "Straightening herself up, she resolved to focus..." is all past tense -- it's not in mixed tense. The technique is called a "participle clause" if you want to search for it and check I'm not talking nonsense.

As for which is better, I think it's really about what reads better to you. I think your second example might be a bit verbose if this is a tense (ha) scene, but try it and see.

When it comes to actually mixing tenses -- it isn't always bad, but it should be logically consistent. If your narrative voice is relaying events that happened in their past, then they shouldn't drift to present tense. But if they're reporting a fact which is still true in their present, it may be appropriate to have them speak in the present tense for a sentence, or whatever. I'm far (very very far!) from being a confident writer, but for what it's worth, it strikes me as the kind of thing you might keep an eye on when editing but not worry about too much when drafting.


That is very helpful, thank you — the explanation of the participle clause is exactly what I was hoping to find, actually! I think I've been doing that exact thing quite frequently, so it would be a bit of a disaster if it turned out to be significantly wrong.

The narrative voice I'm using is in the past simple tense (although I have written a couple of distinctive sections in the past perfect, and one in the present simple).

Taking a part-time course in creative writing is definitely on my list of things to do when/if life slows down. It's interesting to learn this sort of stuff, particularly because the praxis is very much in reach!

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Oblomov Boblomov
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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by Oblomov Boblomov » Tue May 28, 2024 2:46 pm

site23 wrote:
Oblomov Boblomov wrote:A question on writing in tenses, as I realise I might have been doing this without noticing.

Here is a brief extract:

The sound of the door shutting behind her released a breath that Daria realised she had been holding onto. Straightening herself up and regaining her confident stride, she resolved to focus on getting on with what needed to be done.


Should I be writing 'As she straightened herself up and regained her confident stride...' there, instead of using present verbs? I think I used them to give a more active, fluid style to the writing, but am I risking arrest if the Grammar Police show up?! :shock:


"-ing" doesn't always indicate present tense, it can sometimes indicate a progressive action taking place contemporaneously with the rest of the sentence. "Straightening herself up, she resolved to focus..." is all past tense -- it's not in mixed tense. The technique is called a "participle clause" if you want to search for it and check I'm not talking nonsense.


Reading this again, I don't know if I'm turning myself mad – I'm sure there is a glaring error in this part of the first sentence: "...released a breath that Daria realised she had been holding onto."

It should be 'on to', right?

The reasons I found this particularly annoying are a) I didn't spot it the first however many times, and b) I also didn't twig it as a preposition, which upon realising made me feel like I should shuffle it around: "...on to which Daria had been holding", even though that would be ridiculous, and is something I'm not going to do.

I hate writing :lol:.

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site23
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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by site23 » Tue May 28, 2024 3:53 pm

I think it probably should be "on to", yeah. But at the risk of winding you up with my uninformed and no doubt unwanted opinion ( ;) ), might it read better as just "...she had been holding"?

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aayl1
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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by aayl1 » Tue May 28, 2024 3:56 pm

site23 wrote:
Oblomov Boblomov wrote:A question on writing in tenses, as I realise I might have been doing this without noticing.

Here is a brief extract:

The sound of the door shutting behind her released a breath that Daria realised she had been holding onto. Straightening herself up and regaining her confident stride, she resolved to focus on getting on with what needed to be done.


Should I be writing 'As she straightened herself up and regained her confident stride...' there, instead of using present verbs? I think I used them to give a more active, fluid style to the writing, but am I risking arrest if the Grammar Police show up?! :shock:


"-ing" doesn't always indicate present tense, it can sometimes indicate a progressive action taking place contemporaneously with the rest of the sentence. "Straightening herself up, she resolved to focus..." is all past tense -- it's not in mixed tense. The technique is called a "participle clause" if you want to search for it and check I'm not talking nonsense.





End your verb with "-te imasu" to do this in Japanese!

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site23
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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by site23 » Tue May 28, 2024 4:06 pm

aayl1 wrote:End your verb with "-te imasu" to do this in Japanese!

Ah, that's cool to know! One day I should pick up a textbook and learn some grammar, rather than, like, just learning anime vocab by osmosis from Hololive...

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Oblomov Boblomov
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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by Oblomov Boblomov » Tue May 28, 2024 4:27 pm

site23 wrote:I think it probably should be "on to", yeah. But at the risk of winding you up with my uninformed and no doubt unwanted opinion ( ;) ), might it read better as just "...she had been holding"?


Opinions very much welcome, informed or otherwise! Especially when they open my eyes to what probably seemed to others like an obvious solution :slol:.

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aayl1
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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by aayl1 » Tue May 28, 2024 6:43 pm

site23 wrote:
aayl1 wrote:End your verb with "-te imasu" to do this in Japanese!

Ah, that's cool to know! One day I should pick up a textbook and learn some grammar, rather than, like, just learning anime vocab by osmosis from Hololive...



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site23
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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by site23 » Tue May 28, 2024 6:52 pm

aayl1 wrote:
site23 wrote:
aayl1 wrote:End your verb with "-te imasu" to do this in Japanese!

Ah, that's cool to know! One day I should pick up a textbook and learn some grammar, rather than, like, just learning anime vocab by osmosis from Hololive...



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aayl1
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PostRe: The Writer's Sphere - Share your writing
by aayl1 » Tue May 28, 2024 9:22 pm

site23 wrote:
aayl1 wrote:
site23 wrote:
aayl1 wrote:End your verb with "-te imasu" to do this in Japanese!

Ah, that's cool to know! One day I should pick up a textbook and learn some grammar, rather than, like, just learning anime vocab by osmosis from Hololive...




:lol: strawberry float me, need to remember to add that as a sound command!

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