Relationships Thread

[Albert]

Sorry Glowy, I've edited the title to be a bit more work safe.

Whilst Flesh lights aren't exactly the worst thing, There will be some people* who wouldn't want that appearing on their Work Internet Logs

*me.

[Green Gecko]

Yeah I was getting a little self conscious with phrases like "clean butthole" and "diy flashlight" flashing up on my screen during the commute. We know how much damage words can do.

Almost as bad as that time I opened a video of some bird getting backdoored from standby on my Ipad, wasn't even on mute.

[Fade]

Could have at least changed it to 'Sponge Love' or something

[False]

Primarily.

But then don't you have casual sex with people? So what exactly makes a relationship different for you?

Well she'd make my dinner too.

[Green Gecko]

I used to cook too. Sex gets replaced with dinner. Toad in the hole etc.

[False]

No. Id come home from work, she'd cook for me, we'd watch a movie, strawberry float, go to bed, repeat the next day.

[False]

Though saying that, I can usually only manage about 3 strawberry floats (on seperate occasions) before Im just utterly bored of a person. Only a couple have made it to 4 and they are usually just because they are familiar, like old slippers.

[Green Gecko]

Other half once wanted it 5-7 times in a row, dunno what was up with that.

It can be like that for a few months maybe then you gotta start pulling your gooseberry fool all the while looking and performing good, you can chill a while after that.
What's the longest you've ever been with a woman? And I don't mean a strawberry floating now and then for ages.

[Fade]

Jesus Christ Falsey

[Green Gecko]

I just did the math and realised that can't be very long.

You need love man. You gotta put your heart where your dick is, mind you will probably get crushed by women if you do that so regularly. Which is probably why you don't do it.

I don't know how you'd get past this. Can hardly suggest no sex until marriage.

We need a female falseytron, maybe you can negotiate some kind of contract or find some girl that switches personalities.

[False]

Other half once wanted it 5-7 times in a row, dunno what was up with that.

It can be like that for a few months maybe then you gotta start pulling your gooseberry fool all the while looking and performing good, you can chill a while after that.
What's the longest you've ever been with a woman? And I don't mean a strawberry floating now and then for ages.

The longest Ive ever been with a girlfriend? Probably about 6 months on a few occasions, and I ended all of those.

The longest Ive been strawberry floating a woman is about 5 meetings over a couple of months.

[False]

I just did the math and realised that can't be very long.

You need love man. You gotta put your heart where your dick is, mind you will probably get crushed by women if you do that so regularly. Which is probably why you don't do it.

I don't know how you'd get past this. Can hardly suggest no sex until marriage.

We need a female falseytron, maybe you can negotiate some kind of contract or find some girl that switches personalities.

I just dont like people in general enough to do that. Ive never ever encountered a person who Im not sick of after a couple of meetings, and the thought of coming home to the same boring twat every night would drive me batty. Intelligent women are rarely good looking and strawberry float machines, so I have to settle for good looking strawberry float machines so they are always vapid thundercunts.

I think Id be best with a woman who was barely around and just did her own thing.

A female me sounds scary.

Edit - and lets be honest - an intelligent woman would see right through my game.

[Fade]

How do you have friends if you get sick of people after a couple of meetings.

[False]

I dont say much

[Fade]

You're kind of like me except you deal with everything in the complete opposite way

[False]

So, not like you?

[Fade]

How you feel about other people is the same.

[Poser]

I used to cook too. Sex gets replaced with dinner. Toad in the hole etc.

I also do all the cooking. Think I'm being diddled. Or not.

[Hexx]

So hypothetically speaking...

If someone messaged you and said "I'll pay you £80 if you let me drink your piss", would you do it.

A friend of mine got asked hypothetically

(I realise this isn't romantic or a relationship, but where else you gonna ask such a completely hypothetically question?)

[Scotticus Erroticus]

Shut up Hexx