alright lads, you do a tourney yeah ? lets get one going, ill show you nerds whats what !

But I'll only agree to play you, Dave, if you mic up and describe each goal as "Proper Nawty".

hello hello this is the g crew calling

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The Eeveelution club!!! \o/

lads ! who the strawberry float is dave though, ginger?

got an xbox, ready to lash you pretenders all over, need more people, so spread the word !

Please don't take offence but I think "Dave Dyer" sounds better. It makes you sound proper 'ard and that gooseberry fool. Like Bruce Willis. Unfortunately, when I hear the name Danny, I think of Danny La Rue. I'm not for one minute saying that because your name's Danny that you'd be wearing dresses or appearing in lingerie in transgender nightclubs, I just mean that the word conjures up a certain mental image - the harsh alarm of you posing in a dress saying "Nawty boy".

I realise that this is an absurd word association on my part, I can assure you I'm working on solving it, but in the meantime it might be worth thinking about changing your name to Dave Dyer, Dave?

Anyway, let's get lashing!

youre a bit of a queer banana split so youre not in on it !

That's what people who're scared to play me say. That's what Colin Farrell said. Look where he is now.

yeah but colin farell is a bit of a banana split though, hah ! name the time and a place ginger and ill give you a schooling !

Tomorrow night 10.30pm, Dave. Your house. Where you stayin' these days?