How do you strawberry float up your looks so badly?

Such a waste.

Amanda Seyfried.

Mother of god...

Alvin wou...

Actually, even he wouldn't.

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Skinny fat. Its what happens when women are too scared to pick up anything heavier than the pink weights.

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strawberry floating bitches left and right my dick is ambidextrous

That's not real is it?

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The Prodigal is available now

Then when she's found hanging herself in a bathtub while over medicated on prescription drugs her Dr deliberately gave her, in a car that was speeding... and some other random celebrity ways of dying, the press will be like "AWH, SHE WAS SO YOUNG", glorifying her as if we really gave a gooseberry fool about her anymore. Meanwhile whoever published her music and movies will raise the price to her gooseberry fool media X10 and claim it was a clerical error.

um

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What if she supports the ideals of free media?

She looks like something that would eat its young.

Pfft, internet standards

True. True. I mean, if you were a native of Newcastle and you were out on the pull, she's seem like a real catch!

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What are the odds of her being six feet under by the end of this year?

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With the amount of narcotics she has in her system I'm pretty sure burying her would constitute soil pollution and thus be illegal.

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Well you can't cremate her then. The poor mortician would die from the fumes.

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And then, as if from a dream, L-Lohan herself appears naked and demands that you ravage her... except this isn't 2006 anymore, this is 2012, so what do you do?

Well...it has been a while. That and I can always flog the story to The Sun on Sunday and call her a massive crackhead. Or shock them and claim she is sober.

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Did she go through some kind of time vortex and age about 30 years in the space of a day?

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