Re: The Wrestling Thread
Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 2:14 am
Hopefully the other two members of Evolution can get on board and join in. Randy Soreton and Epigloppitista would add another level to the promo delivery of the group.
WWE RAW Results wrote:
Location: Baltimore Arena; Baltimore
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield, and Jerry "The King" Lawler
Hour 1
Monday Night RAW kicked off with an emotional and teary-eyed looking Daniel Bryan making his way out. Brie Bella was already in the ring leading the crowd in chants of "YES! YES!". When the music stopped their was a small smattering of boos, which immediately segued into the arrival of "principal owner" Stephanie McMahon coming out. Stephanie sarcastically congratulated Daniel and Brie on their wedding, telling them it was an 'organic, crunchy, rustic affair, if you are into that sort of thing'. As an aside Stephanie has an awful lot of sun spots on her arms now. Stephanie said that since the WWE is a family, they wanted to get them a wedding present, but nothing traditional as they are not a traditional company. Stephanie revealed what we all suspected, that Daniel Bryan will defend the WWE World Championship against Kane at Extreme Rules. Stephanie then told Bryan that he should make sure he gets his new wife out of the way. Kane's music filled the arena, his pyro exploding on the stage. Stephanie shouted 'Not now'. As Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella were backing off towards the time keepers table, Kane appeared from the crowd and started assaulting Bryan. Kane turned his attention to Brie, but Bryan made the save, allowing Brie to escape. Stephanie told her to run away and save herself. After running Bryan into the barricade, Kane picked up Bryan and Tombstoned him on the floor. With Kane continuing to ignore Stephanie's pleas for him to stop, Kane then Tombstoned him onto the steel steps. Stephanie mouthed "strawberry float" under her breath and demanded the EMTs to come help Bryan. As Bryan was being placed onto the stretcher Kane returned and dismantled the announce table, chucking a chair around in the process, which funnily enough appeared to have scripts taped to the underside of the seat. He then delivered a 3rd Tombstone to Daniel Bryan onto the table, which didn't break. The PG rating now completely going out the window, Stephanie then said to Kane "You...BASTARD". Kane headed up the ramp as RAW crashed to the ads.
Back from commercial break, Daniel Bryan was still being attached to the stretcher and wheeled out, Brie returning to his side. In the ring Stephanie clutching the WWE and World titles, and seemingly fighting a semi-grin, told the crowd to give a 'very warm round of applause' for Daniel.
Match 1: In a really great match, which the crowd were thoroughly into, #BadNewsBarrrett defeated Sheamus with the Bullhammer Elbow to advance to the Finals of the Intercontinental Number 1 Contenders Tournament.
BO-LEAVE vignette.
They revealed Hugh Jackman will be Guest host on next week's RAW from St. Louis to promote his new movie X-Men: Days of Future Past, and reminded us all of his last visit with Dolph Ziggler. Apparently Ziggler, Jackman, and Sandow have got into some sort of Twitter war.
We were told to download the WWE App and choose John Cena's opponents for later tonight; Luke Harper on his own; in a Handicap match against Harper and Erik Rowan; or against all 3 members of the Wyatt Family.
The Wyatt's came out on the stage and Bray cut a promo. Bray asked if we'd just become a nation full of mindless sheep; tonight however being the perfect opportunity for change, with the power in our hands. Will we choose the path of less pain for our hero John Cena or was tonight the night that he finally learns the truth. Bray asked if we could now feel the change, as every time he and Cena cross paths, he takes more of John's fanbase from him. Bray led the crowd in singing 'he's got the whole world in his hands', before dropping to his knees.
Match 2: Los Matadores and El Torito defeated 3MB and Hornswoggle (w/Heath Slater) in 3:00.
In a Vintage Nitro moment, a limo was shown pulling into the building backstage. A suited-and-booted Evolution stepped out...sans Flair, unfortunately.
Fast forwarding from 1998 to 2003, Devolution came out, kicking off Hour number 2.
Hour 2
Triple H, whose voice was completely shot to pieces - presumably because of a cold - said it's funny when you take your kids across your knee and spank them like they did to The Shield. Orton took the microphone and said that it takes just a single spark to set the world on fire. We then got a video package of Evolution arriving in a helicopter from 2002/3 and destroying everyone, seguing neatly into last week. Back in the ring, Batista said The Shield has absolutely no idea what they've gotten themselves into. This brought out The Shield through the crowd. As they surrounded and then entered the ring, Evolution retreated and headed up the ramp to the stage. Dean Ambrose said that last week wasn’t the first time they've got beaten up and it won’t be the last. Ambrose asked if they looked humbled to them. Roman Reigns said that last week they were given an ultimatum, but this week they were going to give Evolution one. In a few moments, they are going to walk up there to kick their ass. Reigns said they have two options: Evolution can either be men and try to fight, or they can be "cream puffs" and cower away and hide. As The Shield were heading up the ramp to take on Evolution on the stage, the heels from the roster came out. Triple H says that there is an option 3: in life you either adapt or you perish. That is Evolution.
They recapped Bryan's destruction from the top of the broadcast. Cole revealed Bryan is in hospital receiving X-Rays and all that gubbins.
Adam Rose bus vignette
Ryback and Curtis Axel were on commentary.
Match 3: WWE Tag Team Champions The Uso Brothers defeated The Rhodes' in a non-title outing. After the match Ryback and Axel attacked The Usos' from behind and left them laying. They're also teasing dissension between The Rhodes', with Cody refusing to accept a hug from Goldust and storming off. Ryback was seemingly auditioning for a position on commentary, playing it pretty much straight the entire match...that admittedly only went about 4 minutes.
We got a clip of Mark Henry getting whack-a-moled by a penguin on Slam City.
Match 4: Emma (w/Santino) defeated Layla (w/Fandango) with a Pink Cobra. Layla looked fantastic here...even if there was a touch of the Doreen's about her at one point. Yes, that's a Birds of a Feather reference.
A floral Renee Young was with John Cena backstage. He wasn't smiling. Cena said his fate lies with the WWE Universe. In a matter of time we'll find out if they've listened to Bray. Crowd started a duelling "Let's go Cena/Cena sucks" chant. Cena said everywhere he goes he hears the same song: He's got the whole world in his hands. Cena said he is beginning to think he just might.
Cesaro came out with Paul Heyman. He now has new theme music, incorporating a loud siren/air-raid horn. I thought it was the re-introduction of the original RAW IS WAR intro from 1997. Paul Heyman cut a promo but was quickly cut off as they very abruptly went to commercial.
Back from commercial, Heyman was still banging on about The Streak ending. "My client, Brock Lesnar, conquered The Undertaker's undefeated Streak". RVD made the save from the repetitious Walrus.
Match 5: RVD beat Cesaro via Count Out to advance to the Finals of the Intercontinental Championship Tournament when Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter came out and Swagger posted Cesaro behind the referee's back. After the match, Cesaro was going to Swing Colter but Swagger made the save. Cesaro quickly regained the upper hand and Swung Swagger instead.
Hour 3
Michael Cole revealed Daniel Bryan had only suffered a "bad stinger". So don't worry everyone, Kane vs. Bryan is still on.
Renee Young interviewed RVD but was immediately cut off by Paul Heyman and Cesaro. Cesaro said RVD could never beat the King of Swing on his own. Heyman followed that the old RVD would never have taken a tainted victory. RVD responded by telling Cesaro not to let Heyman anywhere near your wallet, house and future. Paul asked if he was talking about him. "R.V.D" then walked off.
Match 6: In a rematch from SmackDown that we didn't need to see again, Paige defeated Aksana in a non-title outing. Crowd didn't care for this at all apart from the submission hold.
Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger made for SmackDown.
Lana came out and introduced Alexander Rusev.
Match 7: Rusev tapped out Sin Cara with the Camel Clutch. Crowd were now in the chant for JBL instead phase.
Another BO-LEAVE vignette.
Lawler revealed 53% had voted for Cena to wrestle a 3-1 Handicap match against the entire Wyatt Family.
Main Event: John Cena defeated The Wyatt Family by Disqualification when they all ran in and attacked Cena.
Over-run
Bray Wyatt kissed Cena on the forehead and nailed Sister Abigail. Bray Wyatt took the microphone and said in time all things come to life, before once again singing "He's got the whole world in his hands" while clutching Cena in his arms to take RAW off the air.
He deserves an even bigger push than that tbh for making this Bad News gimmick work. He really is extremely talented.
