The Wrestling Thread: WWE WrestleMania 31 [NSFW]

[IronMaiden]

[captain red dog]

I heard them mention that spot on last weeks review an impact. Didn't realise it was that bad!

[Johnny Ryall]

uh oh

http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/2013-06-10/fandango-injury-update-26121820

[KK]

I heard them mention that spot on last weeks review an impact. Didn't realise it was that bad!

One of the worst 4 minutes or so in a match in ages, beginning with the table collapsing under Bully's weight.

[KK]

I won't be doing a RAW Report tonight what with E3.

Will be catching the first hour though.

[1cmanny1]

Don't make me get disappointed Kklein, you are my go to guy for Raw results.

[KK]

I'm well aware the view count of the thread goes up dramatically from the RAW Results being posted to when I look at them again...but Christ, it'll be about 6AM.

[Johnny Ryall]

Some dedication you have

[Psychic]

I'll be stepping up as temporary Raw Results Manager for tonight, reporting to the board of directors but not to the Chief Operating Officer, sometimes to the Chairman of the board and always to the powers that be.

[Dante]

Perfect timing to start serious training again,last time around the block for me so this is gonna be really intense,transformation time. HH

Hulk Hogan as World Champion by the end of the year.

Finals of the Bound for Glory series; HH announces himself as the winner so he can face Ray at BFG after he gets a by through all the rounds. Ray lies down in match after a finger poke and HH pins him for the title; HH announces he is actually the head of Aces & Eights. Sting then starts feuding and a loop hole is found that is he goes back to early 90s Sting he can get a title shot again (as agreed by Dixie Carter and the network exectutive producers) - This all leads to HH vs Sting for the WCW TNA World title at Slammiversary

Spoilers for strawberry floats sake

As per the other conversation I would love to see angle back in wwe. A return at the rumble would be assume.

Sorry

SPOILER:

TRIPLE H WINS!

[KK]

On the agenda for RAW tonight is Triple H vs. Curtis Axel opening the show, which might not take place, the return of Dolph Ziggler to Live TV and the reveal of Kaitlyn’s secret admirer.

Kaitlyn seemingly turned heel on SmackDown.

[Dante]

On the agenda for RAW tonight is Triple H vs. Curtis Axel opening the show, which might not take place, the return of Dolph Ziggler to Live TV and the reveal of Kaitlyn’s secret admirer.

Kaitlyn seemingly turned heel on SmackDown.

JMJ is the creepy stalker

[Cosmo]

WWE making the decision to just watch the Sony conference even easier with that start.

[Dante]

Return of DX vs the McMahons just to boost ratings.

[shadow202]

Return of DX vs the McMahons just to boost ratings.

I'd totally be up for that.

[Dante]

So Jericho beating Big E., according to King, is a huge upset

What?

[Psychic]

Jericho loses to everyone tbf.

[Dante]

Excellent match

Shame they had to have Orton as focal after it though

[Psychic]

Location: My living room
Attendance: Not sure. I counted about twenty before I got distracted by
Commentators: Michael Cole, John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Jerry Lawler

Hour One: Match One: Triple H vs Curtis Axel. Axel entered to very little reaction, possibly due to his music changing again. Did it? I'm not sure, probably. Match was about thirty seconds long with Triple H on top when Vince's music hit and he made his way to ringside. Vince spoke to the bell-man and Justin Roberts. The bell rang and Curtis Axel was announced the winner by disqualification, which added a new finisher to Curtis's repertoire to go with the deadly Count Out. Triple H seethed and hopped out the ring, ordering Justin Roberts to restart the match. Triple H beat up on his opponent for a few seconds before Vince came back out and ordered Axel the winner by forfeit. Triple H rolled out of the ring and ordered the match be changed "by the COO of the WWE" to a 60 minute Iron Man Match. Vince returned to ringside, told Curtis he could go as he'd already won twice then stole the microphone and ring bell before leaving.

I didn't make any of that up, honest.

Ryback and Cena will be face to face later tonight on Raw. Not sure how that's any different from every other week for the past two months, but we'll have to see. They mentioned they'll hear from Kaitlyns secret admirer and then said Kane vs Dean Ambrose is up next.

Back from the break and Triple H was maaaad at Vince. Steph was almost crying, begging him not to hurt her dad. Triple H was still mad, but she controls the boob supply in his life so he asked her to go talk to Vince instead, then threw a towel to show his anger. Grr.

Match Two: Kane vs Dean Ambrose. Kane entered first while they played a recap of him and Daniel Bryan Danielson shouting at each other from Smackdown. Dean entered with the other members of the Shield, who stopped partway down the steps and retreated, possibly to go watch the match on tv, while eating some grapes. Green ones, maybe seedless, I'd imagine.

Still no bell so they just started wrestling. It was fun as Kane threw Dean about a bit and generally beat him up. It's Kane vs Dean Ambrose, you've probably already seen it a couple of times. A referee ran down with the ring bell. First mention of the WWE app after the break during this, where you can watch Randy Orton watch the match you're not watching. Rollins and Reigns ran in for the DQ as Kane was readying himself for the chokeslam, but Randall Keith Orton (Hey, that spells RKO!) and Daniel Bryan Danielson made the save to run off the dastardly hounds of justice.

Second mention of the WWE App, vote for Daniel Bryan Danielson's opponent tonight, either Roman Reigns or Seth Rollins. Randy Orton will face the remaining dude, who will no doubt feel as unloved as an AWOL order from the military or a turd in a divas bag.

Seth Rollins won the vote, to the delight of Ring of Honor fangirls (And some boys) all over the world. Kane, Randall and DBD were arguing backstage about arguing and hitting each other last week on Smackdown. Kane was attempting to mediate when BRAD MADDOX and Vickie sidled into shot. Vickie announced that this Sunday at Payback (I know, someone remembered there was a PPV Sunday!) it'll be Randy Orton and Bryan Danielson Bryan versus The Shield for the Tag Team titles. @LanceStorm christened this team RK-NO, which is just one of the best things ever. Kane was most displeased and shouted "What?" in a voice that was quite unbefitting for a monster and quite funny for me. Vickie then announced Kane would face Dean Ambrose at the PPV for the US title, so he Kane was a happy man and hugged Vickie tight. "The Miz" entered. He's a cock.

Match Three: Wade Barrett joined the gang on commentary as Cody Rhodes got the jobber entrance to face "The Miz." No-one cares about this match. "The Miz" is such a dullard. Why should I cheer for him? He has stupid hair. All of these are thoughts I'd guess the crowd who were sitting on their hands thought as "The Miz" slapped on the figure-four to win the match. Wade was quickly out of his seat to try and attack "The Miz" but was interrupted by Paul Heyman. Heyman announced that just because Fandango was injured didn't mean it wasn't going to be a triple threat match, as his place was going to be taken by Curtis Axel. His protege came out and said something forgettable that ended with the word "perfect" then left.

Mark Henry promo video played, of him generally splitting wigs and kicking asses. That's what he does. He's returning next Monday. Ad break, the more recaps of the Triple H/Vince/Steph stuff earlier for a few minutes. Because nothing makes people tune in early than the knowledge they don't need to tune in early because you'll recap it all anyway.

Hour Two: Stephanie was in Vinces office, talking to the back of his head as he refused to turn around. He did after she mentioned how proud they both were. Vince was wearing a special tie here, it really was something. Steph said Vince crushed "Paul" out there (FOURTH WALL) Vince said he was doing what was best for business, business comes first.

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN.

Don't really, it's probably structurally unsafe to do so. It's just lyrics from Chris Jericho's theme who's making his way to the ring. Jericho got a microphone and built up his upcoming match against CM Punk. He talked about how they both believed they were the best and how they had in common how they worked their way up. Good stuff. Dolph f'n Ziggler interrupted!

Dolph (With AJ and Big E in tow) talked about how'd not long got the World title before it was nearly taken from him due to a concussion. He stated that he felt nobody wanted him to have the belt so he came out and stole the show every night, and that he was going to outclass and outperform Alberto Del Rio this Sunday. Jericho challenged Dolph to a match tonight, Dolph accepted and then said Jericho would be facing Big E instead of him. Ad break.

Match Four: Chris Jericho vs Big E Langston. We came back from the adverts to find the match underway with Big E in charge. Crowd was behind Jericho the whole way with vocal support. Big E got chucked to the outside then kicked, Jericho got thrown into the steps, the WWE App was advertised again and I died a little inside. Jericho got distracted by Ziggler on the apron and got squashed by Big E when he turned around. Big E pulled down his straps to signal for the Big Ending, when a Wild Alberto Del Rio appeared and threw Ziggler towards the ring. Due to this distraction Big E turned his attention to the number one contender, allowing Jericho to roll him up for the win.

Match Five: Zeb Coulter on commentary for Sin Cara vs Antonio Cesaro, who is now German apparently. Zeb unsurprisingly hates the Mexican more, accusing him of sneaking over the border with his face covered, while at least Cesaro came to the US legally with his head held high. Cesaro no longer wears any sort of strapping or knee pads, it's a weird look. This match wasn't good until Sin Cara got off a bit of offense, ascending to the top rope and jumped off, only for Cesaro to catch him into a wonderful twisting backbreaker. Cesaro then picked him up, slapped a headlock on and swung him around without letting go of the headlock. It was awesome and has probably been giffed at least three hundred times by the time most of you read this. Cesaro hit Sin Cara with the Neutraliser and won...the match..on Raw?!?

WTF.

Vince, BRAD MADDOX and Vickie were talking backstage. Thanks to Skys shoddy timing, I missed the start of this but figured out they were talking about Cena and Rybacks face to face thing. BRAD MADDOX suggested having the lumberjacks there to stop them killing each other before the PPV and that was that.

Match Six: Randy Orton came to the ring, shortly followed by Daniel Bryan Danielson. Roman Reigns w/Seth Rollin Rollin Rollin Rollin uh, entered with Ambrose appearing with them at the top of the steps before returning to the dressing room. This was an okay little brawl, but not that interesting. Orton did his spots, etc. Rollins attacked D-Bry on the outside, then ran in to attack Orton. Orton threw Rollins out to join Reigns who had bailed to the outside. Daniel Bryan Danielson dived through the ropes to take out both members of the Shield before shouting Yes as the crowd joined in. Match was ruled a No Contest.

Hour Three: Match Seven: Daniel Bryan vs Seth Rollins followed on straight from the previous match. I think you should go watch this, it was fun. If not, feel free to read on. Everybody in this crowd loved Daniel Bryan, or at least loved chanting YES everytime he punched, kicked or generally did damage to Rollins. One particular highlight was Rollins getting knocked outside and getting hit with Bryan's running knee off the apron, which he sold like he'd been hit with a strawberry floating hammer. D-Bry hooked up Seth in a surfboard dragon sleeper at one point, which looked ridiculous in the best way. D-Bry went for a dive through the ropes and I'm pretty sure Seth just punched him in the face. Daniel Bryan hit a rolling German suplex then seemingly kicked Seth in the head as hard as he could. Seriously, why are you reading these spoilers? You could be watching this match. D-Bry won when he rolled up Seth following a missed splash for the three count, then YES'd along with the crowd. Orton hit an RKO on Seth after the match, he and Daniel Bryan stared each other down for a little bit before they left.

Re-cap of the shows earlier Triple H/Vince/Stephanie stuff. It's 2013. Yeah. Kaitlyn was shown backstage getting ready to meet her secret admirer. Following the break she was in the ring waiting and asked for her secret admirer to show themself. IT WAS BIG E AUSTIN! IT WAS BIG E ALL ALONG! Out came Big E with a bunch of flowers for Kaitlyn. D'aww. Big E presented her with the bunch and asked for the microphone. Big E stated that he was more than just Dolph's heavy and how he was crazy about Kaitlyn. I'm not sure which one of these two has the bigger chest. They pulled together close and teased a kiss, Big E flung her back, then dropped her to the mat. AJ's music played. Boo, hiss! When did romance become so difficult in the wrestling world?

AJ says she was abandoned by Kaitlyn and talked about how she was hurt over the past year by men. Says the likes of D-Bryan, Cena and Punk used her, hurt her and shattered her into glass, but even shattered glass can cut pretty deep. Kaitlyn called her crazy, AJ denied this, said she was smart and laughed it up talking about how Kaitlyn was all alone and nobody cares about her. AJ talked about their match Sunday and said Kaitlyn's gonna go running back to whatever trailer park she came from when she loses. Kaitlyn snapped and attempted beat the piss out of AJ, who bailed and skipped away. Good segment.

Match Eight: Damien Sandow cut a promo as he entered, ragging on Sheamus saying he'd clearly beaten him with his intellect last week and would beat him physically this Sunday. R-Truth came out to face him and I don't think you need to be the intellectual saviour of the masses to figure out who won this one. (Sandow did. It was short.) Sheamus came out and congratulated Sandow for winning, but promised he'd kick his head off this Sunday.

Stephanie was shown backstage sending one guy to tell Vince to meet him in her office and one to tell Triple H to meet her there. Ad break. Lumberjacks entered the arena and began surrounding the ring. Ad break. Back from the break to the office where Steph is there with Triple H and Vince arguing. She storms out and tells them to work it out. They shout some more, Vince puts over Triple H saying he's above a match with Curtis Axel ( ) and that he wants him to be a legend, saying he wants him to be the guy behind the desk. Vince then says he's got the match with Curtis Axel. Triple H says he doesn't want the match so they start arguing again. Stephanie comes back and makes them all hug. I'm starting to question how much of this I'm actually seeing or just making up at this point.

Cena comes out, weeks old yellow shirt, eight year old routine. SCOTT STEINER IS IN THE HOU-Oh it's just Rybacks ambulance. Ryback stands at the top of the ramp while Cena talks. Cena says he needs to come down to the ring otherwise this isn't a face to face. Ryback tries to talk but gets interrupted. Cena says Ryback doesn't deserve to be champ. Ryback says he should've been three times over. Cena starts shouting. He's still shouting. Please, won't he stop shouting? Cena shouts over a guy and calls him names. Cheer! Ryback makes reasoned points. Boo! Cena says this Sunday Paybacks a bitch! He attempts to roll out of the ring but is thrown back in several times by the lumberjacks. Ryback comes down to the ring and gets thrown in. They attempt to brawl but the lumberjacks stop them. I don't know what the lumberjacks were trying to do here. Both men are trapped in the corners by the other wrestlers as Raw goes off the air.

[KK]