Photek wrote:I can guarantee none of these people own an Xbox and actually played the game.
Grey skies swirled above him as the monk ran up the hill towards the Monastery of Truth, the wind buffeting his robes and forcing his chin down into his chest. Finally, breathlessly, he reached the heavy oak door. His weathered fist slammed against the ancient wood and after a few seconds it slowly groaned open, the inner warmth rushing out to greet his windbitten cheeks. He cautiously entered. As the door closed behind him with a deep thud, he approached the looming figure ahead of him with head bowed, fearful to make eye contact.
"Speak", hissed the figure, full of menace and anticipation.
"My lord Xbox Series X, I am but a lowly pilgrim of the Black Grail, but I come to thee with ill tidings.""Speeeeeaaaaak", it hissed again, looming further over the monk, mantis-like, as it tasted the air around him.
The monk gulped and took a breath, hoping it was not his last.
"I have received word from our ravens... of... of people on the internet pretending to play your games and then giving them bad reviews on Metacritic..." The monk cowered, preparing for the worst.
The beast recoiled, the monk's words seeming to cause it physical pain.
"Heretics!" it spat, the word hanging in the air with knowing malevolence.
"Go forth and send word to my acolytes. They shall spread the truth"__________________________________
Photek wakes up in his bed, drenched in sweat. Another nightmare. He stumbles into his bathroom, looks in the mirror and slowly nods to himself. Time to do thy Lord's bidding.