Only just started watching but here's my first 2 cents:
* I'd go with a gradual rise in the beginning music and drop it by about 5 to 10 Db if you can as it scared the strawberry floating gooseberry fool out of me straight off the bat!
* The video keeps 'sticking' at 57 seconds and I initially thought this deliberate as you were talking about why you hated Halo 4, but it turns out it shouldn't have been frozen. Kept doing it for me until I manually move the timer forward where it'll 'un-freeze' the frame and play like it should have been (in 1080p, not sure about other resolutions).
* I assume you're splicing in various commentary tracks rather than 'one-shotting' the VO in a single take? It certainly sounds like you're quickly moving from one audio track to the next as the ambiance levels are changing in the background (which might only be something you'd notice when you also do commentary work yourself). But it seems to work if you're deliberately firing out your thoughts one after the other.
I'll give it a complete look a bit later but hopefully this'll be of some use (or you can tell me to strawberry float off if it's not
). Promising start though Anung, so keep it up!
*edit* oh, and one extra tip something I've remembered acutely after watching a very well made Halo video. When recording an FPS game, try and synch your on-screen position/action in between transitions. So if you're running into a transition, try and time it so the animation is completed as you dissolve the frame into the next scene. Or if you're jumping up, dissolve it at the apex and then you'll be in the new scene (but jumping down). It'll make it more difficult to edit initially (although if you plan your recordings in advance in your head you'll get used to it).
I never done it for my Bioshock 2 video guide, but it's something I plan on doing for all upcoming FPS-related videos as it'll simply look much smoother and slicker.